Phoenix is phun.

First of all, my new favorite song is Chauffeur by The Fitness. I'm not sure when it came out or if it's totally old, but I love it more than I can say. In addition, I am a loser because as soon as I decided I loved this song I thought: "How can I get this on the juke box at E's?"

Also, you will all be saddened to learn that I am no longer the Pool Champion of the Universe. A couple of nights ago, I was at this lame bar for some kid's birthday, and I played pool against Chris two times and I lost. Then I played against Luke, and I blew so hard that a house fell on Paris Hilton. Part of the problem was that my hand was clammy (as or like a clam), and there was no phallic chalk thing to stroke, so I couldn't hold the stick very hard.

HOWEVER, though I may not be Champion of the Universe, I am still Champion of the Eastern United States, and I will liberally kick the asses of all who oppose me!